I am in a little bit of a funk I believe. I've been in it since Thursday and I can't seem to shake it. Luckily it only comes across to most people as I look like I am very tired - which I am - or that I am not feeling too well - which I am not; BUT - there's more. I'm frustrated. I'm wondering if I made the right decision. I go through every day having very limited to eat, not able to eat things that I'd actually really like to (like seriously I would die to be able to eat a rice cake with cheese melted on it - i know sounds gross, but that's my comfort food!!) I don't feel "normal." I want to be able to do everything I could before the surgery. I'm tired of the weird pain still in my abdomen, I'm tired of setting alarms to tell me what drugs I have to take next, and frankly - i'm tired of being tired. I am also tired of getting on the scale every day and seeing the numbers drop but not noticing it with body changes or even clothes for that matter. I look in the mirror and still see that pre-surgery body, just now with 10 ugly scars all over my stomach. I don't see a 30+ pound lighter/skinnier Kate. I'm frustrated and annoyed that I now am even more difficult to go out with. I mean before going out to eat with friends was always touchy because we'd have to make sure we ate somewhere that had Gluten Free food for me - but usually we always could find a place that I could eat something - even if it was just a salad. Now I know that was frustrating for my friends and family but it never seemed overly a nuisance. Well in just over a week I will be in Ohio with great friends at the National Youth Ministry Conference. We eat out every meal. I've been doing research on area restaurants and eateries so I could scope out menu's now - and seriously there's like 5 places I can eat - not because of Gluten Free - but because of the surgery diet. I hate being the annoying one who can and can not eat at places. I know it frustrates my friends - even though they don't say it - I can see it in body language and faces. I don't blame them - it frustrates me probably even more than them. Did I really make the right decision? Not that there's anything I can do about it now except come to terms with it... I know in the long run I'll be glad I did - but right now - it sucks. Yet I go about each day and smile and tell everyone I am doing great, a little tired and still in some pain - but overall doing really well. Well ya know what? I'm not doing so great - I cry every day, I'm bored, I'm lonely, I miss my kids, I miss my nephew, I miss having energy, I miss being able to go out for a drink with the girls, I miss being able to eat things I really want to eat, I miss being able to go out and not have to worry about what to pack for food, I miss feeling normal....
Hopefully fussin up and telling it like it really is will help me get out of this funk, cause I don't want to feel like this anymore....
Monday, November 24, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
For enquiring minds!
I hear enquiring minds want an update since my episode with the awful dumping syndrome! You'll be glad to hear - no more dumping episodes since last weeks - YAY!!! I have more and more energy each day - which is leaving me more and more bored. I've been trying to do one thing fun every day to help with the boredom. On Saturday I went to one of my teens Confirmation, then hung out with The Mortons and then visited with the Scarfo's - it was a very long, yet wonderful day. I was quite tired when I got home and in some pain, but it was worth it! Sunday I slept late and rested most of the day and then got ready and headed to IC in Malden to go to Mass and then to the first night of Illimuna! It was sooo wonderful - everything about it! It was also my first time receiving Communion since surgery. Thankfully Scott was an EM and I asked him before communion if he could break a small piece of the host for me. He was great and broke me the tiniest piece!! It felt really great to be able to receive the Eucharist again - I've missed it these past 3 weeks. Mass was AMAZING (well the music - the priest - he was hard to understand!) Illumina was an awesome hour of adoration with again, GREAT music! I love visiting IC! I loved catching up with Margo and Scott and PJ as well as all the other ICer's who I've come to know and love! Last night I got to visit with a dear friend Luke for a little bit. We met up in Framingham as I needed to go buy another book (I am reading the Twilight Series - WOW - SOOOO GOOD!) So Luke met me at Barnes and Nobles. It was good to catch up and laugh! Today I am headed up for Youth Group tonight - we are having Friends Thanksgiving with them all and I can't wait to share dinner with the teens and adults! So I guess you could say I am busy - I still get really tired and I definitely feel the strain in my core muscles but I can't keep spending day after day on the couch. The hardest struggle food/drink right now is remembering to eat! Hours pass and I forget to eat - whoops! I also struggle with cold drinks (except milk and popsicles). When I drink them it makes my stomach contract and I get this funny funny feeling in my abdomen. This also happens with water - any temp. So I've been drinking more tea, and sugar free hot chocolate as making crystal light. Seems to help, but I have to have room temperature crystal light. Other than those small things - everything is GREAT!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Dumping Syndrome
Well I spoke too soon. Everythings been going so well on the recovery and eating food front, I knew it was too good to be true. Today began like all other days - awaking around 11:30 AM (ok that's a little later than most days, but i have nothing to do so I am taking advantage of getting plenty of sleep!) Per recommendations from the dietitian yesterday, I began my day with 8oz of tea instead of eating right away. I was done with my tea at 12:30, which meant I could eat at 1PM. At 1 I made myself a scrambled egg and 1/2 banana mashed. I could only eat the egg. At 2:15 I drank 4 oz of water and had myself a sugar free popsicle (another recommendation from the dietitian to increase my liquids cause I am struggling with that.) At 3:15 I had a 2oz light string cheese and the banana from breakfast. I finished it all. From 4:45 - 5:30 I nursed about 6oz of water - a feat in itself as I was not feeling like drinking. At 6:15, while talking to a dear friend, I served myself some egg salad (made with light mayo - which is on the ok to eat list) which I made last night - 2 oz to be exact. Then it happened - officially at 6:48 PM - Dumping Syndrome - and yes it is as bad if not worse than it sounds. Lets give you the details on what I was given on what Dumping Syndrome is:
"Dumping syndrome occurs in many gastric bypass patients when sweet foods or foods high in fat like juice, soda, sugar sweetened beverages, cakes, cookies, and pies are eaten. The food passes too quickly into the small intestine and causes symptoms such as: nausea or queasiness, a sense of fullness accompanied by discomfort, cramping, diarrhea, general weakness, profuse sweating, vomiting and heart palpitations. Most patients experience a combination of these symptoms. Usually the symptoms will subside in about an hour. Most patients find the symptoms are alleviated after they lie down for a while. Dumping syndrome is not dangerous, but it is quite unpleasant."
Sounds fun doesn't it?! Now although I didn't eat anything high in sugar, the doctor also said you can get dumping syndrome when your stomach doesn't like what you've put in it. My combination of symptoms were nausea, sense of fullness accompanied by discomfort, weakness, profuse sweating and heart palpitations. It was pure misery for, you guessed it - exactly 1 hour. Now when I would eat gluten pre-surgery I had very unpleasant side effects - i hated it - however - this was WORSE!!!! It sucked. I never want to eat egg salad again!
On happier and more pleasant notes - I had my post op appointments yesterday and I am doing really well. I've lost 17 pounds since surgery, and a total of 29.3 since my very 1st weigh in - which Dr. Lautz told me is 19.8% of my excess body weight. He says that most people lose about 60-70% of their excess body weight 1 year post op - he says I am doing well and well on my way to that goal! My incisions are healing very nicely - all 10 of them!! And I am moving well through the food stages. He'll see me again in 5 weeks for another follow-up appointment. After that appointment, I went back to the waiting area to wait for my 3:00 dietitian appointment. That took forever - the waiting I mean. Everyone was behind - thank goodness for Joy and Chip Agule (friends) to come into the waiting area for an appointment they had with a different doc - they killed much of my waiting time catching up and hearing all about Jenna in Africa!! FINALLY at 4:30 I was taken in to see Sari (the RD). She had many questions for me, and I of her. As I won't see her again for 5 weeks - I had numerous questions about traveling on Stage 3 and transitioning into Stage 4 (scheduled right smack in the middle of the National Youth ministers Convention!) I have homework before I leave for OH of going to dinner at a restaurant to test run eating out. Thankfully I am driving with Jim and Paula and that at the hotel I was able to reserve a mini fridge for the room. I will be able to bring food and shop for food to have safe foods with me all week. The last thing i would want is to have this awful Dumping Syndrome while I am away!! All in all it was a great day and lots of helpful information!
"Dumping syndrome occurs in many gastric bypass patients when sweet foods or foods high in fat like juice, soda, sugar sweetened beverages, cakes, cookies, and pies are eaten. The food passes too quickly into the small intestine and causes symptoms such as: nausea or queasiness, a sense of fullness accompanied by discomfort, cramping, diarrhea, general weakness, profuse sweating, vomiting and heart palpitations. Most patients experience a combination of these symptoms. Usually the symptoms will subside in about an hour. Most patients find the symptoms are alleviated after they lie down for a while. Dumping syndrome is not dangerous, but it is quite unpleasant."
Sounds fun doesn't it?! Now although I didn't eat anything high in sugar, the doctor also said you can get dumping syndrome when your stomach doesn't like what you've put in it. My combination of symptoms were nausea, sense of fullness accompanied by discomfort, weakness, profuse sweating and heart palpitations. It was pure misery for, you guessed it - exactly 1 hour. Now when I would eat gluten pre-surgery I had very unpleasant side effects - i hated it - however - this was WORSE!!!! It sucked. I never want to eat egg salad again!
On happier and more pleasant notes - I had my post op appointments yesterday and I am doing really well. I've lost 17 pounds since surgery, and a total of 29.3 since my very 1st weigh in - which Dr. Lautz told me is 19.8% of my excess body weight. He says that most people lose about 60-70% of their excess body weight 1 year post op - he says I am doing well and well on my way to that goal! My incisions are healing very nicely - all 10 of them!! And I am moving well through the food stages. He'll see me again in 5 weeks for another follow-up appointment. After that appointment, I went back to the waiting area to wait for my 3:00 dietitian appointment. That took forever - the waiting I mean. Everyone was behind - thank goodness for Joy and Chip Agule (friends) to come into the waiting area for an appointment they had with a different doc - they killed much of my waiting time catching up and hearing all about Jenna in Africa!! FINALLY at 4:30 I was taken in to see Sari (the RD). She had many questions for me, and I of her. As I won't see her again for 5 weeks - I had numerous questions about traveling on Stage 3 and transitioning into Stage 4 (scheduled right smack in the middle of the National Youth ministers Convention!) I have homework before I leave for OH of going to dinner at a restaurant to test run eating out. Thankfully I am driving with Jim and Paula and that at the hotel I was able to reserve a mini fridge for the room. I will be able to bring food and shop for food to have safe foods with me all week. The last thing i would want is to have this awful Dumping Syndrome while I am away!! All in all it was a great day and lots of helpful information!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
FOOD!!! :)
YAY!!! I can eat!!! My whole day was full of scrumptious food! I woke up and made myself 1 scrambled egg, and a 1/2 cup of all natural no sugar added apple sauce. I ate the whole egg and a 1/4 of the apple sauce - but then I was too full to eat anymore. 2 hours later I had to eat again (they say eat even if you're not hungry to get yourself on a schedule) and I had a 2 oz light string cheese. Then 2 hours later it was 2 oz of turkey deli meat and 1/2 cup of mashed pears. I couldn't bring myself to eat anything for the afternoon snack - I am stuffed. Dinner was 2 oz of dark meat chicken and 1/2 cup of mashed potato's. I had about 3/4 of my chicken and only 1/2 of the mashed potato's. I still have 4 oz of yogurt to go... uugghh... boy am I stuffed! It's really wild to see how little food is on my plate - but I can barely finish what is there. Full sensations are different now too - it's not a full belly, feeling like before - it's a sharp pain between my shoulder blades or under my chest bone. It takes me over an hour to eat - I have to chew each small bite (no larger than a pencil eraser) until it is paste/liquid in my mouth. I'm learning to savor all the flavors - but it can be tedious and tiring. But it has been WONDERFUL to not have a protein shake today!! :) I need to work on the water intake. In between each meal I am supposed to have 8 oz of clear liquids. This is a challenge however because it takes me about 45-60 minutes to drink 8 oz. I also can not drink 30 minutes before I eat or after I eat - this makes getting my fluids in quite tricky!
On other fronts, my energy is back!! Just ask Paula and Fr. Matt and my kids from LIFT last night!! That's the number one thing people have been commenting on! I do feel 100 times better. I still get tired very easily, and my stomach still hurts if I do too much (like last night - PAINFUL!) But, I have color back and my spunkyness is returning! I have begun to notice little changes in my body... like my face is thinning out, and I am definitely losing some of my boobs - man - always the first to go. My jeans were a little bigger on me last night. But nothing huge yet. I am sure as the weeks pass I will notice more and more. But people tell me I look awesome - so that must be a good thing! I had an event filled weekend and beginning to this week. We had my most adorable nephew all weekend. I spent all day saturday playing with him on the floor and feeding him his meals. Killer not to be able to pick him up - especially when he crawls over to your legs and pulls himself up and bounces and wines telling you he wants to be picked up... that's hard. But I got to sit on the floor and "hold" him in my lap, or sit and feed him his bottle - which was nice. He was very snuggly with me too! Mom and I took him to the Natick Mall to buy his Mommy birthday presents and we had to take a side trip to Toys R Us to get him a fun new toy!! Needless to say - I was EXHAUSTED by the end of the day. Sunday I was useless. Mom brought Cam into my room at 11AM to wake me up!! I sat like a lump on a log all day - soooo lethargic. Whoops!! Monday I did basically nothing all day to rest up for Tuesday, where I went to LIFT! Soooo great to see my kids and Lisa and Jeaninne! I miss everyone terribly. Paula was there too- and it was awesome and fun to hang with her after and catch up and laugh and talk. LIFT does just that to me - it always has a way of Lifting me up! Today was full of resting and eating and then a lovely visit with 2 special people, Natalie and Astrid. It was WONDERFUL! Tomorrow brings my 1st post op appointment with my surgeon and a meeting with Natalie, my dietitian. I am excited to see what the "real" scale reads and to see how I am progressing. I have many Celiac Disease related questions so the timing is perfect! So far no bad side effects or symptoms or reactions to things. I am off to eat my yogurt, take some meds, and watch the new season of Top Chef!! Here is a picture from the weekend of me and the love of my life - Cameron John!
On other fronts, my energy is back!! Just ask Paula and Fr. Matt and my kids from LIFT last night!! That's the number one thing people have been commenting on! I do feel 100 times better. I still get tired very easily, and my stomach still hurts if I do too much (like last night - PAINFUL!) But, I have color back and my spunkyness is returning! I have begun to notice little changes in my body... like my face is thinning out, and I am definitely losing some of my boobs - man - always the first to go. My jeans were a little bigger on me last night. But nothing huge yet. I am sure as the weeks pass I will notice more and more. But people tell me I look awesome - so that must be a good thing! I had an event filled weekend and beginning to this week. We had my most adorable nephew all weekend. I spent all day saturday playing with him on the floor and feeding him his meals. Killer not to be able to pick him up - especially when he crawls over to your legs and pulls himself up and bounces and wines telling you he wants to be picked up... that's hard. But I got to sit on the floor and "hold" him in my lap, or sit and feed him his bottle - which was nice. He was very snuggly with me too! Mom and I took him to the Natick Mall to buy his Mommy birthday presents and we had to take a side trip to Toys R Us to get him a fun new toy!! Needless to say - I was EXHAUSTED by the end of the day. Sunday I was useless. Mom brought Cam into my room at 11AM to wake me up!! I sat like a lump on a log all day - soooo lethargic. Whoops!! Monday I did basically nothing all day to rest up for Tuesday, where I went to LIFT! Soooo great to see my kids and Lisa and Jeaninne! I miss everyone terribly. Paula was there too- and it was awesome and fun to hang with her after and catch up and laugh and talk. LIFT does just that to me - it always has a way of Lifting me up! Today was full of resting and eating and then a lovely visit with 2 special people, Natalie and Astrid. It was WONDERFUL! Tomorrow brings my 1st post op appointment with my surgeon and a meeting with Natalie, my dietitian. I am excited to see what the "real" scale reads and to see how I am progressing. I have many Celiac Disease related questions so the timing is perfect! So far no bad side effects or symptoms or reactions to things. I am off to eat my yogurt, take some meds, and watch the new season of Top Chef!! Here is a picture from the weekend of me and the love of my life - Cameron John!
Friday, November 7, 2008
AAAHHHH!!!!
I SLEPT IN MY OWN BED LAST NIGHT!!! Whooo hoooo!!! I also drove today!! It's been a good day, well really good 24 hours! 4 of my teens visited me yesterday afternoon and while it hurts to laugh - we had a good couple hours of laughter, catching up, hearing about school and youth ministry meetings and events. It was a great visit and one I really needed! I miss the teens big time and seeing some that are the cornerstones of St. John's was such a great treat! It just makes me miss everyone that much more. After 2 nights of the bed in the living room collapsing (it's my old twin and like 25 years old) I decided it was time to head to my room. What a night of sleep I got! I slept straight through and never woke up, and I was able to sleep on not just my left side, but my right as well!! I love my bed!! :) Today was a good day, I am getting a little more energy - I get urges of things I want to do - but I still do get pretty tired really quickly. For example, I woke up this morning and looked at my pig-sty of my bedroom and thought "I really want to clean this and organize, and rearrange it!!" Now that's a big thing - I HATE to clean and organize - so to want to do this - that's huge! I also had big urges to take my dog for a big long walk. I did take him out and we walked down to the club house - but I was tired tired on the way back - so long walks are not in my near future right now! Tonight I took my car and went to the store (not alone - mom wouldn't let me go alone - she wanted to make sure i could drive safely!!). I was out of sugar free Popsicles so we went to the grocery store. Popsicles are very easy ways for me to get some of my 56 fluid ounces! Mom says I am free to drive on my own now too after our little jaunt to the store! Things are looking up!! 4 more days until real food and I can not wait!! We'll see how my energy is this weekend, we have my nephew all weekend. I can now sit on the floor too and get up without too much pain - so I can at least interact with Cam at his level! I've taken advantage of my time at home to work on my Commodore Status with Cunard Cruise Line and to take my refresher courses with Princess Cruise Line. I am almost done with my Commodore Status and can't wait to graduate and receive my FREE Graduation Cruise on either the Queen Mary 2 or Queen Victoria!! A cruise would be great right about now!!! Some of you have asked when I would begin putting up "After" pictures... I will do this soon, I promise!!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
No Energy
Today is officially "post op day 9." With bariatric surgery they number all of your days up to day 66. It technically has been 10 days since surgery - but they don't count the day of surgery as a day. The number of day I am on tells me which stage of food progression I am in.
Post Op Day 1 - Stage 1 - clear liquids only (i did this in the hospital)
Post Op days 2-15 - Stage 2 - Liquid only - protein shakes - I am currently in this stage
Post Op days 16-37 - Stage 3 - Toddler Diet - smooth, pureed, diced foods
Post Op days 38-65 - Stage 4 - reduced calorie solids (really everything except salad)
Post Op days 66 and on - Stage 5 - Ongoing diet (I can have salad now!)
I am getting excited to move onto stage 3. I am getting pretty sick of protein shakes. I'm still not really hungry - but I do think I might feel better if I could eat real food. I also get to begin my multi vitamin and calcium at this stage - so I think in all I will have more energy and begin to feel more normal.
I've had a rough couple of days. Beginning Sunday afternoon is when I first began to feel kinda blah. I would go through phases of nausea and hot flashes and breaking out in sweats. Then I would be cold or just feel fine. Monday I woke up feeling much better. I felt up to going to the store to buy a birthday card and small gift for Kathleen's birthday. I took a shower, went to the store and then Dad took me to Kathleen's work (my former place of employment) to bring her gift to her. She stepped out of her meeting for a little bit and we stood in the lobby and chatted. I ran into some friends I worked with I hadn't seen in a while so that was nice. I popped my head into the daycare before I left and said hi to Nolan and Calleigh (kathleen's kids) before we left. I did a lot of standing and walking. While we were really only out of the house for 45 - 60 minutes I was really tired when I got home. By dinner time, I felt like crap. The majority of pain that I had been feeling up until now was mainly muscle pain - it is only when I move quickly or switch positions sleeping that I feel pulling and tugging. But tonight I began to feel a different, non-muscular, pain. The only way to describe it is as a burning pain. It's not excruciating - just constant. So I took my pain meds and went to bed, hoping a really good night of sleep would make me feel much better by morning. Yesterday I still felt very blah - so blah that I really didn't even want to talk on the phone to anyone. I had absolutely no energy. I woke up around 9 and by 9:30 I was back asleep. I spent all day lounging in the recliner only getting up to go to the bathroom or get a drink. I can't really explain the blah feeling - just not myself. I had a really hard time sleeping last night. I fell asleep finally around midnight, but woke up at 2 AM just not able to get in a comfortable position and in some pain. So I got up and took pain meds and moved to the recliner to see if that helped. I finally fell asleep around 3 AM and slept until 9:30 this morning. I am still not feeling quite right. I am beginning to think it has to do with the diet I am on. As my stomach heals enough to begin to process food next week, I only can take in protein - I have no other nutrients that my body is receiving. I am working extra hard today to get all of my protein and all of my other fluids in and see if that helps make me feel better. Next Wednesday can't come soon enough!
Post Op Day 1 - Stage 1 - clear liquids only (i did this in the hospital)
Post Op days 2-15 - Stage 2 - Liquid only - protein shakes - I am currently in this stage
Post Op days 16-37 - Stage 3 - Toddler Diet - smooth, pureed, diced foods
Post Op days 38-65 - Stage 4 - reduced calorie solids (really everything except salad)
Post Op days 66 and on - Stage 5 - Ongoing diet (I can have salad now!)
I am getting excited to move onto stage 3. I am getting pretty sick of protein shakes. I'm still not really hungry - but I do think I might feel better if I could eat real food. I also get to begin my multi vitamin and calcium at this stage - so I think in all I will have more energy and begin to feel more normal.
I've had a rough couple of days. Beginning Sunday afternoon is when I first began to feel kinda blah. I would go through phases of nausea and hot flashes and breaking out in sweats. Then I would be cold or just feel fine. Monday I woke up feeling much better. I felt up to going to the store to buy a birthday card and small gift for Kathleen's birthday. I took a shower, went to the store and then Dad took me to Kathleen's work (my former place of employment) to bring her gift to her. She stepped out of her meeting for a little bit and we stood in the lobby and chatted. I ran into some friends I worked with I hadn't seen in a while so that was nice. I popped my head into the daycare before I left and said hi to Nolan and Calleigh (kathleen's kids) before we left. I did a lot of standing and walking. While we were really only out of the house for 45 - 60 minutes I was really tired when I got home. By dinner time, I felt like crap. The majority of pain that I had been feeling up until now was mainly muscle pain - it is only when I move quickly or switch positions sleeping that I feel pulling and tugging. But tonight I began to feel a different, non-muscular, pain. The only way to describe it is as a burning pain. It's not excruciating - just constant. So I took my pain meds and went to bed, hoping a really good night of sleep would make me feel much better by morning. Yesterday I still felt very blah - so blah that I really didn't even want to talk on the phone to anyone. I had absolutely no energy. I woke up around 9 and by 9:30 I was back asleep. I spent all day lounging in the recliner only getting up to go to the bathroom or get a drink. I can't really explain the blah feeling - just not myself. I had a really hard time sleeping last night. I fell asleep finally around midnight, but woke up at 2 AM just not able to get in a comfortable position and in some pain. So I got up and took pain meds and moved to the recliner to see if that helped. I finally fell asleep around 3 AM and slept until 9:30 this morning. I am still not feeling quite right. I am beginning to think it has to do with the diet I am on. As my stomach heals enough to begin to process food next week, I only can take in protein - I have no other nutrients that my body is receiving. I am working extra hard today to get all of my protein and all of my other fluids in and see if that helps make me feel better. Next Wednesday can't come soon enough!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
56 ounces?!
My liquid diet consists of drinking 40 ounces of carnation instant breakfast protein shakes and 16 ounces or more of clear liquids each day. Really that's only 7 eight ounce glasses in 24 hours. Most people drink more than that in one day. This is REALLY REALLY hard. I have been on this stage diet since Wednesday and although they said the first few days I wouldn't be able to drink that much I would shortly after. Well, it's Sunday night and I haven't even hit 40 ounces yet today. I have greatly increased my intake since Thursday - 26 ounces on Thursday, 29 ounces on Friday, 37 ounces on Saturday and so far 36 ounces today (and I still have one more protein shake to go.) I NEVER feel hungry... which is good in once sense... but it makes it really hard to make yourself eat. I would say that is one of my top 3 struggles so far since surgery.
1. My whole world revolves around when to eat, what to eat
2. How dependent I am on others due to my tiredness
3. My lack of feeling hunger pains/full pains
All three of these struggles intertwine with each other - they effect each other and really sometimes are the domino effect of one of them.
I literally have to set alarms on my cell phone to go off every 3 hours to tell me it's time for another protein shake. I begin my days at 8 AM. So I have shakes at 8, 11, 2, 5, and 8PM. Now in between each of these times I also must get in another 16 or more clear fluid ounces prior to bed at night. BUT, I can't drink those 30 minutes before or after I've had a protein shake. Once I begin real food I won't be able to drink 30 minutes before or after I've eaten. This can stretch the stomach too much, expand the food I am eating and cause a blockage, and/or fill me up and then I am not getting enough nutrients from lack of proper food intake. Eating 8 ounces of a protein shake takes me 1 hour. I can't drink more than 2 ounces in 15 minutes or I get really nauseous and have pain in between my shoulder blades (they say this is a sign of being full.) The 8 and 11 are typically easier to get all 8 ounces down, the 2 is good up to the last 2 ounces, the 5 is killer - usually after 4 ounces I am dying and I have yet to drink more than 2 ounces at the 8 PM. I am super tired right now too. When I wake up in the morning, I have the most energy - but within 30 minutes it's gone. The more tired I get, the more pain I seem to be in, which means the harder it is to get up and move around. Yet, I am supposed to be taking several short walks a day - I am counting walks around the house as short walks!! Today I felt like I had taken a 90 minute super intense aerobic class after my shower. I had to go downstairs to my room to get clothes, come back up stairs to the main level. I took a 5 minute rest once back upstairs, then went upstairs to the 3rd floor to the bathroom to take a shower. I took my shower (which now takes a good 10 minutes cause I can't move quickly.) After the shower then I had to dry off and get dressed, brush my hair and stuff. Then back down stairs. Whew! I was dripping in sweat and very out of breath after my shower. I can't bend over to put on socks or shoes so that's frustrating that mom or dad have to do that for me. If I recline back too far in the chair, someone has to help me up, I can't carry anything over 5 pounds, and on top of all of this, I am sleeping in the living room right now (since stairs are killer and I am up 3-5 times a night to go to the bathroom) I HAVE NO ALONE KATE TIME!!! The living room is where mom and dad hang out, and is now my "bedroom" too. I love my parents, and they are doing LOTS for me - but seriously - I need to be able to do stairs soon! lol!
I know a lot of these struggles will get better as I recover - but I like to be independent, and having to rely on others for most everything right now - that's been really hard. I do feel a little better with each day. I have finally begun to get rid of a lot of the gas from my abdomen - which makes you feel a whole lot better! I've had some great visitors (although it's crazy how tired I get after visiting for even a short amount of time!) Wonderful people calling and checking up on me, the kids texting me... it's all be great! I don't miss work, really it's not like I've left - I get daily updates anyways. But I miss the teens and the people....
Oh yeah - I've also lost 10.5 pounds since coming home from the hospital!
Time for a protein shake..... :)
1. My whole world revolves around when to eat, what to eat
2. How dependent I am on others due to my tiredness
3. My lack of feeling hunger pains/full pains
All three of these struggles intertwine with each other - they effect each other and really sometimes are the domino effect of one of them.
I literally have to set alarms on my cell phone to go off every 3 hours to tell me it's time for another protein shake. I begin my days at 8 AM. So I have shakes at 8, 11, 2, 5, and 8PM. Now in between each of these times I also must get in another 16 or more clear fluid ounces prior to bed at night. BUT, I can't drink those 30 minutes before or after I've had a protein shake. Once I begin real food I won't be able to drink 30 minutes before or after I've eaten. This can stretch the stomach too much, expand the food I am eating and cause a blockage, and/or fill me up and then I am not getting enough nutrients from lack of proper food intake. Eating 8 ounces of a protein shake takes me 1 hour. I can't drink more than 2 ounces in 15 minutes or I get really nauseous and have pain in between my shoulder blades (they say this is a sign of being full.) The 8 and 11 are typically easier to get all 8 ounces down, the 2 is good up to the last 2 ounces, the 5 is killer - usually after 4 ounces I am dying and I have yet to drink more than 2 ounces at the 8 PM. I am super tired right now too. When I wake up in the morning, I have the most energy - but within 30 minutes it's gone. The more tired I get, the more pain I seem to be in, which means the harder it is to get up and move around. Yet, I am supposed to be taking several short walks a day - I am counting walks around the house as short walks!! Today I felt like I had taken a 90 minute super intense aerobic class after my shower. I had to go downstairs to my room to get clothes, come back up stairs to the main level. I took a 5 minute rest once back upstairs, then went upstairs to the 3rd floor to the bathroom to take a shower. I took my shower (which now takes a good 10 minutes cause I can't move quickly.) After the shower then I had to dry off and get dressed, brush my hair and stuff. Then back down stairs. Whew! I was dripping in sweat and very out of breath after my shower. I can't bend over to put on socks or shoes so that's frustrating that mom or dad have to do that for me. If I recline back too far in the chair, someone has to help me up, I can't carry anything over 5 pounds, and on top of all of this, I am sleeping in the living room right now (since stairs are killer and I am up 3-5 times a night to go to the bathroom) I HAVE NO ALONE KATE TIME!!! The living room is where mom and dad hang out, and is now my "bedroom" too. I love my parents, and they are doing LOTS for me - but seriously - I need to be able to do stairs soon! lol!
I know a lot of these struggles will get better as I recover - but I like to be independent, and having to rely on others for most everything right now - that's been really hard. I do feel a little better with each day. I have finally begun to get rid of a lot of the gas from my abdomen - which makes you feel a whole lot better! I've had some great visitors (although it's crazy how tired I get after visiting for even a short amount of time!) Wonderful people calling and checking up on me, the kids texting me... it's all be great! I don't miss work, really it's not like I've left - I get daily updates anyways. But I miss the teens and the people....
Oh yeah - I've also lost 10.5 pounds since coming home from the hospital!
Time for a protein shake..... :)
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