Continuing on my Journey...

WOW! I didn't realize it had been almost 3 months since my last post and boy did I leave you all hanging!! Sorry about that! It has been a whirlwind of a few months. I have my ups and my downs, but I wake up each day thankful and hopeful. I have much to blog about and will over the next few days blog all the happenings since my last post. Here are some highlights:

I have officially lost over 100 pounds... (108 to be exact!) When i stand on the scale and see that I am out of the 200's I still do a double take. I still really don't believe it. And I still only see 293 pound Kate in the mirror... but I am beginning to notice differences each day and I am beginning the long journey of learning to love me.

Thanks to wonderful friends like Margo and Scott I have headed back to therapy! So far this has proven to be a wonderful experience... yet an emotional one as I have LOTS to unpack. More on this soon...

Margo and I had dinner a little after my last post and she said something very profound to me that I think about, pray about and try to wrap my head around every day. She told me that she had been praying about me (thanks! I can use all the prayers I can get!). She said that she knows how much I want to be a mom and give birth. She said that she wonders if this is God's way of answering this prayer right now in my life... giving birth to me. I'm going through all these changes and it has it's ups and downs and it's not easy and not quick... but I will soon give birth to a "new" Kate... shedding of my old. I kinda chuckled it off when she first told me and didn't really talk with her much about it. But boy did it rock my world. Every day I think about this... It's a pretty profound way of thinking and one I am working through with God!

Catholic Heart Workcamp (CHWC) Boston this year was a doozie but as I am a month out from that week and getting to look back and reflect upon it - it was a week full of blessings for many - myself included. CHWC Boston was my rock bottom. Yes it was kinda bad timing for God to throw me into a complete and utter emotional shutdown. But as I look back on that week it was good timing just because of the wonderful people who I was surrounded by. If my rock bottom had hit any other week I would have hid in my room and done it myself. Now I'm not saying I did a very good job of leaning on those around me... I still shut down and turned inward... but just having wonderful people and friends around me was comfort. Knowing that Scott was on campus all week and getting to see him and get a Scott hug every morning and his awesome positive smile and hello's each afternoon when he returned. Knowing if I needed him I could find him. Seeing his face in all the adult meetings towards the end of the week when things got super stressful - it was calming to me. Having Cory and Jon P at camp all week was also so comforting. Although I never did get a chance to sit down and catch up with them (or pray with Cory - sorry Mama Heimann... I was really hoping I would be able to but the timing was just off... I'll make a date with Cory when he's back up for retreats!) Having Brenna back in the states and just a phone call away... having her just sit on the other end of the line while I sobbed... that's a true friend sent by God. I had people around me ready and willing to pick me up and help put the pieces back together. And that's the part I am working on now... putting my pieces back together.

CHWC Charleston with my teens from St. John's was another week of blessings! My CHWC black cloud followed me this year however and we had a Swine Flu outbreak - but it was a wonderful week! It was a week of God showing himself to me in many different ways. It was a week of awakenings and beginning of some healing for me. (I have a whole post I want to post about this week!)

My little venture to NYC last week was wonderful and again full of God showing himself to me. He's really gently working with me to become comfortable with who I am, who He wants me to be, and with this new body of mine! For the first time since I can remember as a little girl, I was picked up and swung around! Andy Cloninger (CHWC musician) was the musician in New Jersey at camp. I haven't seen him in a year! He was told that I had lost a bunch of weight and that he may not recognize me (I don't think it's that drastic... but I look at me everyday!) So when I arrived at camp and say Andy he came running over to me and gave me a huge hug and picked me up and swung me around. Now I as SUPER uncomfortable with this... yet a little giddy too!! I mean... someone picked me up - easily - without breaking their back!! But i am still really self conscious... I was quick to wanting Andy to put me down! lol!!

I am currently in Springfield, MA at the RE Convocation. I have a heavy heart and lots to still work out with God. So much on my mind that I haven't been getting much sleep cause I can't make my mind stop. But having some good prayer time. This whole process has really strengthened my relationship with Christ - waaayyy more than i ever thought it would!

That's the basic overall update... more to come over the next few days... I promise I won't keep you hanging on! I've got lots on my mind to share... just need some time to put it all down!

Oh yea... and there's this boy.... ;)